Every New Years Eve, after midnight and after the excitement dies down, I like to sit and reflect on what the new year means. In some ways, it’s just a day and a time, just like any other day, but in other ways, it’s a new start, a time to focus on improving myself, and a chance to move my life in a new direction.
I’ve been wanting to write this post for a really long time, but for some reason, I never felt ready until this week. I’m hoping that as I sit down to write this that the words will flow out the way I want them to, but you never know, so bear with me.
Some days, you leave the house in the morning and it just goes downhill from there. You leave your credit card at home when you need to get gas, your lamp burns out when you try to turn it on in your dark office, and you hit your head on the desk when you’re plugging in your computer. Maybe you have too many emails and your coworkers aren’t very nice and maybe you get blamed for problems you didn’t cause and you have to go to meetings that you don’t want to go to. When you finally get home, your dog whines all night but every time you take her out to pee she doesn’t do anything, but back inside she’s chewing on everything in sight and scratching on every door but you don’t have time to take her for a walk and the air is too bad outside anyway. Maybe you spend an hour cleaning so a guy can come fix your oven and you leave from hanging out with friends early so you can be home when he gets there but he never shows up. And you just want to cry and say over and over: “This day sucks.”
First of all, thank you for carrying me though this life. Thank you for pumping blood through my veins every day, even though I’m not always the nicest to you. Thanks for taking all the crap I sometimes say about you and put inside you and not letting it stop you. Thanks for working and doing the best you can.
Thanks for always waking up in the morning and drifting into sleep at night, even when I lay on my stomach and can never get comfortable. I don’t always do the best things for you, like when I sit at my desk for too long or eat an entire pizza in one sitting or stay up too late at night. But I try, and I think you know that. You know when I eat spaghetti squash for dinner or go on an extra long walk or drink a lot of water every day. You know I do those things because I love you.